Fashion The Movie: A Preemptive 5 Stars

Already slated as the most anticipated film of 2008, Fashion The Movie "truly has what it takes to become the next French Connection" says Jonathan Rosenbaum of the Chicago Reader. TheReeler.com recently stumbled across this gem of a website, where Fashion is already mowing people down with it's explosive force. Flaunting some Behind-The-Scenes footage, a well crafted trailer, appellations galore, and contact information to die for, it's difficult to just push the mouse aside, take a deep breath and say, "Just wait for this one to hit the theater."

Wonderfully elucidated by the trailer, the film follows a group of undercover CIA operatives (with the likes of Faye Dunaway, Michael Madsen, Daryl Hannah, and David Carradine), where they escort the most bon vivant of professional fashion-ites across and through LA, New York, London, Moscow, St. Some-Shit, and many of the other posh, worldly cities. Armed to the teeth with 16 machine guns, 2 rocket launchers, sass and a couple of dildos, they magically morph their thrill seeking enemies into poop-socks with a single glance of the eye...

Actually, the trailer explains nothing and is completely composed of the 2 or 3 scenes they've shot thus far, and ends with Fay Dunaway saying, "The bigger they are, the harder they fall." Really, she does.

I can't vouch for the validity of the films actual existence - as Google only has The Official Website listed, and it's completely unlisted under IMDB - but I can say with utmost sincerity that I fantasize nightly about that night in 2008, when I take a seat in my theater seat and get shot in the face by Fashion The Movie.