One of the greater moments in my life...

here I am In Sannomia, downtown Kobe, watching one of the many free concerts in Paiyama park, a small concrete park in the middle of everything. I wasn't doing anything particular, just stopped for a moment on my way back from Kyoto, maybe waiting for something to happen.

And then God delivers the goods.

An old man with some of the most insanely terrible teeth I've ever seen in a first world country takes a seat next to me. I don't take any notice because the park is crowded and I figure he just found an open seat, at least until I hear "Hello." At first I didn't even understand this because I'm so used to speaking Japanese.

"Hello" he says again. I turn, "Oh I'm sorry. Hi there." We have the typical Japanese dude interested in Gaijin discussion - where are you from? what are you doing here? etc. - and I respond accordingly. I comment on his English not because it's good (it's not), but he has the courage to use it, a big reason why Japanese English is, for the most part, terrible considering they study it for years and years in middle and high school.

"I have present for you."

"What?"

"Present."

"Why?"

"You foreigner."

I think for a second and decide it's a good enough reason. He picks up a bag he carried with him and takes out another bag within the bag filled with bags that have things inside them (a Japanese custom). He hands me a book in a thick construction paper jacket. "honto ni arigato gozaimasu." Thank you very much.

I open the book. My stomach drops. I shut the book.

"Nani kore!?" What's this?!

"Saa, hazukashii na..." Oh, you're shy aren't you?


But really, no explanation is necessary. On the first page was a school girl, holding a giant dildo. I think we both know the contents. I try to give it back to him, but, no, it's a present and he really wants me to have it. Really, just take it, I'm giving it to you. He persists, and I finally put it in my bag just so I can get it out of eyesight and bring the commotion to a halt.

A few moments pass and he says, "Hey, you should try opening it."

"No, really, it's alright. I'll look at it later."

We sit in the most awkward silence I have experienced since my arrival in Japan. At least it is for me. I look down at the ground and force my eyes as for to the right as possible so I can see, I don't know, I guess what type of expression is on his face. He's completely relaxed, and is taking care of some other business in his schedule. Not distracting himself, I can see this, but just something he probably has to organize and since he has a little time, he tends to it. Sex is viewed lightly in Japan, and a big reason for this is because Japan is, largely, a country without religion. Shinto and Buddhism were chosen by the government as acceptable religions long ago, simply because they're good at controlling people when practiced. Same with Confucianism, even more so, only this is not a religion but used for the same means. Thus, a bunch of social constructions were put into place that still remains, to some extent, today. Japan is a country where society reins supreme lord. You can do whatever you want in your private life, but once it's in the public you are punishable. Recently, this is changing, but you can still feel it, especially when considering "love hotels" and salary men antics.

At any rate, I stand up and tell the old man I have to go and meet a friend. He promptly stops what he's doing, apologizes for taking my time, and after thanking him again for my gift, I'm off. I look back and he's still sitting there, now with a cigarette in mouth. I walk away and smile, letting that feeling, you know the "just received a porn from some old guy" feeling, sink in.

Oh, how little I know about this country, still.